Those of you that actually read this blog have probably been wondering why you haven’t heard from me in a few months. Well, my semi-charmed life came crashing down on me in November. Someone I love betrayed me and made me feel worthless, ugly, old, and fat. Since then it has taken all my energy just to get out of bed everyday and face a world that looks on me with pity and bewilderment at what a fool I am. Adding insult to injury is the fact that the betrayer doesn’t seem to feel that I’m worth the effort to rectify what they did to me. They are so wrapped up in themselves and how they feel that I’ve just been pushed aside. I’ve had to put a big smile on my face and pretend nothing is wrong when in reality I’m hurting, confused and lonely.
So, I’m sure the big question on your mind is, Have I been EATING to void these feelings and gained back 20 pounds? The old me, first name “Hungry” last name “Always” would most certainly have turned to comfort foods to fill up the holes in my heart and soul. Not this time people!! I’m not saying that I’ve absolutely stuck my Fit Box Lifestyle Plan, but I haven’t gorged myself on cheesy potatoes and skittles either. Things couldn’t have gone south at a worse time though, THE HOLIDAYS. A time when everything revolves around the most delicious foods out there. I ate a little bit of everything, everywhere I went. Just a taste to satisfy the cravings. I didn’t lose any weight during this time, but I didn’t gain any either. I have maintained at 158 LBS for 2 months. I know it wasn’t progress, but I’m still proud of myself. At least I know that I can eat a normal well-rounded diet that includes carbs and not gain weight.
I have 16 pounds left to lose to reach my goal weight and reaching that goal (and maybe a face-lift) will go a long way in healing my self-esteem. What now? Well, recently I decided that it was time to pick myself up off the floor, dust myself off and get back at it. I’ve been back on the Fitbox lifestyle for a couple of weeks and have lost another 4 pounds. Do I st
ill feel ugly? No, I feel average. Do I still feel fat? No, I feel average. Do I feel worthless? HELL NO!! A friend recently told me that I’ve always been FIERCE. (Thanks Janelle) They are right! I am Fierce and I refuse to let anyone ruin my self-worth with their unconscionable behavior. I WILL rise with a spine of steel and a roar like thunder….I Am Back.